Forgiveness
by Kira-chan the Insane Drunk
Summary: This is a story about forgiveness. Sora watched Riku give into the darkness, but never did anything to save him. This story is written in Sora's point of view, and is an atlernate ending to my other story "Fighting Darkness." SoraxRiku


**{[ Disclaimer ] **I do not own or profit off of Kingdom Hearts or Square Enix. The characters and title are trademarks of Square Enix and Disney. Please enjoy. :3 **}**

**{[ Author's Note ] **This story is a rewrite of my other story "Fighting Darkness;" the italisized quotes are copied from the story. I changed the ending, because sometimes life isn't predictable. It starts off sad, but there is a happy-ish ending. Please enjoy. **}**

"_What do you want me to do then, Riku?! Do you want me to disappear?!!"  
_"_Maybe."_

The words had burned themselves into my heart, or what was left of my heart. They were an everlasting scar, an eternal reminder, of how I had let my lover and my best friend give themselves up to the darkness. He had fallen, and I had not tried to help him.  
I remember watching his heart grow darker, his ice blue eyes slowly fade to black. I remember feeling his hand strike me, his roughness when he held me, the tension in his body. And I remember that I let did nothing to save him from his darkness.  
I realize now that I was never strong enough to be able to do a thing. He had deserved so much better than me. He trusted himself to me, and I destroyed him.  
Looking back, there was so much that I should have done. I should have been strong enough to withstand his anger. I should have been strong enough to bring him to his senses. I should have been strong enough to know when to hold my tongue.  
I should have been strong enough to tell him that I loved him.

Now, after all these years I am finally strong enough, but I fear that it is too little, too late. For too long I let that darkness grow in him. Everyone tried to convince me to let it go. But I can't. The guilt in my heart that I had let him become this monster has kept me up at night. I used to fear that he would kill me in my sleep. Now I fear that he won't.  
I haven't seen him since that day. I disappeared from him, fulfilling my promise. I wish I knew where he was. I wish I knew what happened to him. I wish, of all things, I could tell him that I was sorry.  
I wish I could tell him that I love him.

Every once and a while, I imagine him on a street corner. I had long since left Destiny Island, but sometimes, turning the corner, I can see the beautiful ocean water, the white sand, and in the corner of my eye, Riku, standing in all his glory.  
I asked Kairi if she had seen him since I had left, but she was never able to tell me anything. No one knew what had happened to him. His parents were no help either; they had abandoned their son not long after he had started to give into the darkness.  
Sometimes I think about how alone he is in the world, and I cry a little. If I had been strong enough then, I could have supported him. I am barely strong enough now to support myself.

I wish I could say that one day, turning the corner, I saw him, standing alone, raindrops dripping off the tips of his hair, and when he saw me, he embraced me, and I was able to tell him that I loved him, but that day never came.  
I can say that one day, I found out that he had died on that night. He had called me eight times before he killed himself. I was told by his parents that he had written me something, but I never received anything.

Today I received a letter in the mail. There was no return address, only a stamp that indicated that it was forwarded from my old address on Destiny Island to here. I considered throwing it away, thinking it was a joke letter, or something from my old school, but I opened it out of curiosity.  
I regretted ever opening that letter.

The words on that piece of paper imprinted another scar on my memory. Written on it was simply:  
"I love you, Sora. I wish I could have been strong enough to say this to you. I wish I hadn't given up."  
To escape the darkness, he had killed himself.

Shortly after I received that letter, another one arrived, this time with his name written on the upper right hand corner. I thought it was a joke. The contents read:  
"Never blame yourself for what happened to me, Sora. Don't live your life with my death on your conscience. I was weak. I should have trusted you."  
I could never wrap my head around why he never cursed me out, why he never blamed me for what had happened to him.

A few months later, I received yet another letter. It read:  
"I know the pain you must feel. I know guilt lives in your heart. For a long time, I hated you for what you had done to me, for abandoning me, Sora. I love you, and I have forgiven you. I had asked too much of you; you were too young, and so was I. I love you."  
He claimed to be weak, but now I realize just how strong he was. He was strong enough to forgive me, and he has given me the strength to forgive myself.

That was the last letter I received.

Deep in my heart, his memory lingers. I never loved another as I had loved him. No one could ever replace him in my heart. He taught me a lot of things. He taught me love and forgiveness and strength, and I will never forget him.


End file.
